Operation Safe Stop - Tips for Parents
CHILD ABDUCTION:
PROTECTING YOUR CHILD AT SCHOOL BUS STOPS
The best protection for a child at a school bus stop is a vigilant parent.
In today's world of dual working parent families, a parent waiting at the bus stop with a child is not always possible.
Each year in the United States, between 1.3 and 1.8 million children are reported missing. These children may be kidnapped, lost, or runaways. Some children are taken by a non-custodial parent. Still others disappear with few clues as to the reason.
The National Center for Missing and Exploited Children (NCMEC) points out that, in many cases, an abductor is not a stranger to the child. So, while the warning to "stay away from strangers" is good advice, it provides very limited protection. Children are more often abducted or exploited by people who have some type of familiarity with them, but who may not be known to the parents. NCMEC explains that the term "stranger" misleads children into believing that they should only be aware of individuals who have an unusual or slovenly appearance. Instead, it is more appropriate to teach children to watch out for certain situations or actions, rather than certain kinds of individuals.
There are generic steps you can take to minimize the chances of your child being abducted. Experts recommend that you teach your child the following:
- Her full name, address, including city, state and zip code; phone number, including area code; parents' names, work addresses, and phone numbers.
- How to use both a push button and rotary-dial telephone.
- How to make an emergency call to you or for help from a pay phone.
- How to make a long distance call (both directly to you using the area code, and by dialing "0" for the operator).
- Never tell anyone over the phone that she is home alone, and NEVER open the door to strangers when she is home alone.
- Never to go into anyone's home without your permission. Children should learn whose homes they are allowed to enter.
- Never to look for you if she becomes separated from you while shopping or in a public place. Instead, to go to the nearest checkout counter, security office, or lost and found, and tell the person in charge that she has lost his mom or dad and needs help in finding them. And, she should never go to a parking lot without you.
- Walk and play with others and to use the buddy system. If your child walks to school, have her walk with other children. A child is most vulnerable when alone.
- Adults do not usually ask children for directions or help, but should be asking other adults. If someone in a car should stop to ask for directions, they should not go near the car.
- If someone is following her on foot or in a car, to go to a place where there are other people--to a neighbor's home or into a store, for instance--and ask for help. She should not go near the car to talk to anyone inside and should not try to hide behind bushes.
- No one should ask her to look for a "lost puppy" or tell her that either of her parents is in trouble and that he will take her to mom or dad.
- To never go near a car with someone in it or to get into a car without your permission. Your child should learn in whose car he is allowed to ride. Warn your child that someone might try to lure him into a car by claiming you said to pick him up; tell him never to obey such instructions. Instead, he should go back to the school for help. Share a code word with your child known only among family members. Stress to your child that anyone offering a ride unexpectedly--even a family friend-will have been given the code word in advance.
- To never to answer the door when home alone. Remind your child to talk through a door or window to anyone delivering a package, and to tell the person to leave the package at the door. Teach your child how to call your community's emergency assistance number (often 911). Make sure he knows a neighbor to call if someone tries to get into the house or if there is any kind of emergency.
- To tell you if any adult asks her to keep a "secret."
- To tell you if someone offers him gifts, money, drugs, or wants to take his picture.
- That no one should touch her in any part of her body covered by a bathing suit. She should not touch anyone in those areas either. Explain to her that the body is special and private.
- To yell, "This is not my parent!" if someone tries to take her away.
To ask your permission to leave the yard or to go to a neighbor's house. Older children should phone home to tell you where they are, especially if they change locations. - To never hitch hike or get a ride with anyone, unless you have told him it is okay to accept the ride.
- To come home before dark.
- To avoid dark or abandoned places.
- To avoid adults who are waiting around a playground--particularly an adult who wants to play with them and their friends.
- To ask anyone who drives him anywhere, not to leave him alone in the car--but if he is alone in a car, to put up the windows, leaving a "finger" space between the window glass and the rim, and to lock the doors and stay near the car horn. If a stranger approaches the car, he should blow the horn until help arrives.
- That she has the right to say, " NO" to anyone who tries to take her somewhere, touches her, or makes her feel uncomfortable in any way.
Protecting Your Child At School Bus Stops
- Work with other parents to have children walk to bus stops and wait in groups. Use the "buddy system" whenever possible.
- Create a Safe Walking Plan with your child using the safest and most direct path to the school bus stop.
- Establish "Safe Houses" along the route to the bus stop that your child can go to if approached while walking to the bus stop.
- Keep an updated color photograph of your child in a packet along with medical and dental records and your child's fingerprints.
- Avoid clothing and toys with your child's name on them. Child predators who can see a child’s name can then call a child by name making that child feel less suspicious.
- Always contact the Police Department to report suspicious incidents or activity.
Teach your child to:
- Notify you before leaving for the bus stop
- Never go into a house unless your have given your child permission to use the house as a "Safe House".
- Tell you if they feel scared, uncomfortable or confused about waiting for the school bus.
- Tell the school bus driver if they are approached while waiting at the bus stop.
- Tell school administrators and you if they are approached while waiting at the bus stop.
- That NOISE is his/her best defense – yell, scream, shout, scatter books and belongings if they are being forced into a car.
- Move away from any vehicle that pulls up to the bus stop.
- Never accept a ride to school if they are waiting at the bus stop.
- Follow the Safe Walking Plan and never to use shortcuts through empty parks, alleys, fields, etc. They should avoid empty buildings and isolated areas.
- Run home or to a designated safe house if they are close to home and approached while walking to the bus stop.
- Write a license plate number in the dirt if nothing else is available and they are safely away from danger.
Child Abduction Safety Measures: What You Should Know as a Parent
Parents can take steps to prevent abductions and to assist the police and others in locating a missing child:
- Never leave a child unattended; never leave a child alone in a car.
- Know your child's friends and their parents. Be involved in your child's activities.
- Listen when your child tells you he or she does not want to be with someone; there may be a reason you should know about.
- Notice when someone shows your child a great deal of attention and find out why.
- Be sensitive to changes in your child's behavior or attitudes.
- Encourage open communication. Never belittle any fear or concern your child may express to you.
- Keep a complete description of your child, including hair and eye color, height, weight, date of birth, and other identifying characteristics (such as glasses, braces, pierced ears, birth marks).
- Take a photograph of your child every six months (four times a year for children under age two). Head-and-shoulder portraits taken from different angles (like school pictures) are preferable.
- Know where your child's medical records are located (and learn how to access them should the need arise). These records could contain valuable information to help identify your child.
- Make sure your dentist keeps up-to-date dental records of your child. If you move, get a copy of your child's dental records.
- Have your child's fingerprints taken by your local police department. Do not attempt to make these prints yourself; police are trained to do this. They will give you the fingerprint card but will not keep a record of it. Keep in mind that fingerprinting is not a primary tool when searching for and identifying missing children. However, if the child is too young or can't identify him or herself, prints can confirm identity.
- Have a set plan outlining what your child should do if you become separated while away from home.
- Do not buy items that have your child's name on them such as a hat, jackets, and T-shirts. It is an easy way for an abductor to learn your child's name and start up a friendly conversation.
- Make a game of reading license plate numbers. By learning the various numbers and state colors your child will be able to recognize license plates.
- Be sure their day care center or school will not release children to anyone but their parents or someone designated by their parents. Instruct the school to call you if your child is absent.
Helpful websites:
The National Center for Missing and Exploited Children: www.missingkids.com
Office of Juvenile Justice and Delinquency Prevention: www.ojjdp.ncjrs.org This
site offers a wide variety of free, downloadable publications on Missing and
Exploited Children.
Download your copy of "Personal Safety For Children- A Guide For Parents"
http://www.ncjrs.org/pdffiles1/ojjdp/psfceng.pdf and
http://www.ncjrs.org/pdffiles1/ojjdp/psfcspan.pdf for the Spanish translation